The White Allies Handbook by Lecia Michelle

Author:Lecia Michelle [Michelle, Lecia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kensington Books
Published: 2022-06-08T00:00:00+00:00

By now you should have a solid grasp of what allyship means. You’re regularly talking to other white allies to learn from their experiences and find additional resources for your library. Now it’s time to use that knowledge to educate white people. It’s okay to be nervous or scared. That’s normal. Remember that your discomfort is a sign of growth. In this chapter, I’ll provide you with some tips you can use before, during, and after these racial justice conversations. These tips can help you have more productive discussions and learn important lessons from these encounters. What makes you most nervous when you think about educating another white person?

Your journal already contains a wealth of information to assist you in educating others. One of the most persuasive tools you can use in these conversations will be your own experiences and insights. It’s important to talk about your ongoing journey with allyship. Personalizing a discussion by including what you’ve learned about yourself and being an ally helps you connect with the other person and begin to form a level of trust. You never want to distance yourself from your own racism when you’re trying to educate other white people. What have you learned so far about your racism? Don’t come across like you’re too good to make a mistake or that you’ve never made one (we’ll discuss perfectionism in Chapter 10). Part of allyship is admitting your own missteps. You also accept that sometimes you’ll fail in this role. Sometimes you’ll harm us. However, part of educating other white people is telling your own stories—even the ones that are uncomfortable or embarrassing to share. How do you feel about opening yourself up in this way? One of the most important lessons you can convey to another white person is how you hold yourself accountable after these failings, learn from them and try to make better decisions in the future.

Another reason I want you always to keep a journal of your conversations and interactions is so you don’t forget how you felt or behaved when you were called out on your racism. It’s important not to forget where you were and how you felt as a new ally. What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned about yourself so far? You’ll still experience these feelings years down the road, but you’ll have a better idea of how to handle them when they arise. When you’re brand-new to the work, it’s more difficult to rein in those harmful behaviors if you’re feeling attacked. The behavior you exhibited will be the same behavior you try to help other white people overcome. They might feel like you’re picking on them. They’ll get upset and defensive because, if you’re saying they’re racist, you’re also saying they’re a bad person. Calling someone a racist almost always elicits an emotional response from them. They will lash out. When they do, one way to respond is “We white people are born into a racist, white supremacist environment created by white people. Of course, we will take on racist behaviors and ignore racism right before our eyes.

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